There are many things in our live, that we are not meant to have. It is just that we do not really know how to adapt in the reality and accept the truth; that we don't have the 'one' we dreamt for. Everyone is lucky in their own unique ways. So, dear self, if we are not granted for things that we really seriously, want and wish for, there are always other way that we are lucky too. Don't feel left out, because it is not exactly what Allah has planned for us. After all, Allah knows better.
I clearly know, it is the truth, the fact, the reality of life. It is a bitter truth that i have to face everyday. In my office, people are having a small talk by talking about thier family bonding, daily routine, their kids behavior, their past experiences bearing a child, get pregnant and many more, in which i honestly felt being left out. I cannot join the conversation and that makes me frust. Really. I acknowledge that they are sharing their happiness, but i could not fake myself smiling over things that doesn't rejoice me at all. I don't belong to the 'environment'. It is not like i hate them for not being sensitive about me, nooooo. It is more like, how i wish, i could have the same experience. Changing my kids' diapers, get the chance of feeling the knocking or kicking inside my tummy, being loved by my romantic husband, being care about my deen by my truly half one and all sort of things that they are discussing about. Don't label me as envious person because i am not. I am happy for them. It somehow triggers my heart that even i don't have all the things that i want, i am still lucky. I have to remind myself about that.
Allah has a better future and great plan for me. I have to just pass all the challenge and be ready to receive more. To be ready, i need to make myself better. Better in every way. The best is yet to come. My children will come. My responsible plus romantic husband is in the making.😂😂. I need to always and always remind myself that, then only i can be a grateful servant. Aamiin.
